You Raise Twins

 

Baby (Illustrative)

(photo credit: Albi/Unsplash)

Giving birth to twins (or even triplets) has become more common in recent decades due to the growing use of fertility drugs. About 1.6 million twins are born each year worldwide, with one in every 42 children born a twin.

Despite the joys, the stress of diapering, feeding, bathing, paying for their expenses, coping with lack of sleep, and even playing with more than one baby at a time can be overwhelming – even when the parents are experts in efficiency. In fact, the divorce rate among parents of multiple siblings in some countries is higher; about a third of parents of multiples separate or divorce.

Many parents consistently favor one child over another. This applies to healthy twins as well. This preferential treatment can show up in a variety of ways – more time spent with one child, more affection given, more privileges, and less discipline for one than the other.

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But what happens when one of the twins suffers from developmental problems? New research at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem found that a normally developing twin consistently takes on the dominant role over their twin who has developmental gaps, even after such gaps are resolved. By highlighting how parental perceptions shape these dynamics, the research offers fresh insights into the delicate balance of twin relationships and the importance of fostering equality to support both children’s growth.

Developmental delays are an especially important topic because multiple embryo pregnancies increase the risk of prenatal and birth complications.

DR. YONAT RUM. (credit: Ariho)

Conducted by Prof. Ariel Knafo-Noam of HU’s psychology department, Dr. Yonat Rum of its School of Education, and Dr. Hila Segal and Adi Barkan from the Academic College of Tel-Aviv–Jaffa, the study appeared in the journal Family Relations under the title “You and me: Parental perceptions on asymmetry in twins’ development and their dominance relationship dynamics.”

THEIR LAB has been following 322 monozygotic and 1,199 dizygotic twins, the former being identical and the latter created by two eggs fertilized by two sperm, and who are no more alike than singleton siblings. The study began when the twins were three; today they are 15 years old. The team members are especially interested in answering the as-yet-unresolved old question of the effects of nature/nurture – the genes one is born with and the effects of the environment.

Dynamics of dominance in twin relationships

Their research sheds light on how developmental differences influence the dynamics of dominance in twin relationships throughout childhood. Twins, unlike singletons, share the same age and often a similar environment, creating unique relational dynamics where traditional factors like birth order play no role. The study explored how differences in developmental conditions between twins – particularly when one child has a developmental condition and the other does not – affect their dominance dynamics over time.

Families of Hebrew-speaking twins born here in 2004 and 2005 were contacted by mail after researchers received a list of twin births from the Interior Ministry. The research surveyed over 1,500 mothers and fathers of identical twins aged three to nine.

It found that when one twin was developing normally, and the other had a developmental condition, parents consistently viewed the completely healthy twin as the dominant sibling. “This dominance imbalance was stable throughout childhood, even in cases where the developmental challenges of the challenged twin were cured, as in a slower development of language that was fixed with treatment with a clinical communications specialist,” Dr. Rum told me in an interview.

“In twin pairs where both siblings shared the same developmental condition, whether typical or nontypical, no significant differences in dominance were reported. These findings suggest that it is not the developmental condition itself but the asymmetry in abilities between the twins that drives dominance imbalances,” she said.

PARENTS OFTEN stress differences between twins through what is termed the “contrast effect,” a bias that exaggerates perceived differences. This parental tendency can reinforce dominance roles, affecting how twins interact with one another and shaping their long-term relational dynamics. Parental perceptions and behaviors may inadvertently solidify certain roles, such as “dominant” or “submissive,” in twins’ relationships.

Interestingly, genetic similarity also influenced dominance patterns. Monozygotic twins who share nearly identical genetic material were more likely to display symmetrical dominance relationships compared to dizygotic twins, even in cases where developmental conditions differed. This suggests that genetic factors and personality traits may play a role in shaping dominance behaviors and creating more balanced relationships in identical twin pairs.

Since dominance roles established early in life tend to persist, even when the developmental condition of one twin improves, it displays how – once established – family roles become ingrained through both behavior and parental reinforcement. 

To mitigate the effects of entrenched dominance roles, parents are encouraged to create opportunities for more balanced dynamics. Encouraging twins to engage in relationships outside their twinship, fostering individuality, and providing avenues for less dominant twins to assert themselves in specific domains can help reduce the long-term impact of these dynamics.

This research underscores the importance of parental awareness in navigating these dynamics. By treating these patterns early, parents and caregivers can foster healthier, more balanced sibling relationships that benefit both twins’ social and emotional development. 

“It isn’t one’s developmental condition that matters for dominance in the twinship, but one’s developmental conditions relative to their twin,” the authors suggest. Thus, providing opportunities for social interactions out of the twinship would be important for both children by using guided, mediated play interactions in which symmetrical dominance is kept between the twins or in separate interaction of each of them with other developmentally similar social partners like younger siblings or friends.

The study authors advise parents, caregivers, and educators to avoid pigeonholing twins into fixed roles, and instead fostering individuality and supporting healthy relationships.

Be Destroyed

 In his final conquest of Mecca, Prophet Muhammad, (Peace Be Upon Him), allowed his enemies to live whether they confessed faith or not, and forgave them for their opposition to the establishment of Islam. History, however, has shown us that the hypocrites and enemies of Prophet Muhammad who lived in Mecca later produced children who manifested their hypocrisy in the Caliphate or leadership of Islam and took the Nation of Islam off the course that Prophet Muhammad intended.

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This is why there is a prophecy of the coming of the Great Mahdi (The Self-Guided One) who would guide the Nation of Islam back to the straight path that it had deviated from since the deaths of the Prophet and His major companions, Abu Bakr, Umar, Uthman and Ali. During the rule of these four Caliphs, the seed of hypocrisy in the ranks of Islam was growing.

The Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan

The hypocrites ultimately prevailed and now the Nation of Islam that started with Prophet Muhammad, (PBUH), as its cornerstone, is now a mere shadow of what it once was, and is far away from what the Prophet intended. Allah (God) today does not intend for the opposition to prevail nor for the hypocrites to hide under their oaths or declarations or belief.

Allah (God) intends to manifest every hypocrite and enemy within and to expose every enemy without. He intends to gather them all together and destroy them, leaving them neither root nor branch. There are some who oppose the establishment of Allah’s Truth out of sincere belief. However, there are others who oppose the Truth out of hatred for that truth and fear of the loss of power, their present position of influence, and their place in that which Allah (God) is making new. 

Allah (God) teaches us in the Holy Qur’an that the wicked will try to put out the Light of Allah (God) with their mouths, but He promises that He will perfect His Light, even though the polytheists may be averse. As Allah (God) makes the Light of Islam more clear, more persons will be attracted to the beauty of its Light. Wicked ones will also be attracted, for wicked purposes.

The aim of the enemy within is always to do harm to the Cause of Islam and to weaken the true and faithful Believing men and women in the leadership. The hypocrites never spare an opportunity to bring grief to the Believer. According to the Teachings of the Holy Qur’an, to annoy a Believing person is to put the annoyer in danger of chastisement. The true Muslim followers of the Honorable Elijah Muhammad must be aware of the machinations and schemes of our ever watchful enemy who uses our weaknesses against us.

All Muslims in America and throughout the world must be aware that the present ruling powers do not wish to see the rise of Islam. They will use every trick, artifice, and weak one to cause Muslims to shed the blood of Muslims.

There is no group, organization, fraternity or nation that does not have trouble within its leadership. There is no group, society, organization, fraternity or nation that is not confronted with interpersonal problems among the leadership: problems in functional relationships and personality problems, which ofttimes are rooted in envy, jealousy and an inordinate desire for power, prestige and money.

The success of any organization or nation today is based on how well its leadership can manage the conflicts, conflicting agendas, personalities, and keep its leadership focused on the aims, objectives and goals of the organization and nation. These problems, if not managed properly, are destructive to the goals, objectives and aspirations of any society.

President Clinton (had) a Cabinet, Chief-of- Staff, and general staff of brilliant men and women who (did) not always agree and who (had) serious personal conflicts. The public, in general, is not privy to the in-fighting, which generally only becomes public when a major player leaves public offices and then writes a book about his or her experiences while trying to serve. However, in most of our organizations, the in-fighting becomes public to the hurt of the organization because it reveals our woes and weaknesses to our enemies.

We ofttimes reveal our woes, pains, hurt and dissatisfaction to persons whom we believe to be our friends who work for newspapers and periodicals of our enemies, who use this information, whether true or false, to exacerbate tensions, spreading rumors and accusations, thus causing Brothers and Sisters to fight and kill each other. This was the tactic of the Counterintelligence Program of the United States Government toward Black organizations and leaders of the ’60s and these tactics were still being used rather successfully, unfortunately, in the ’90s.

We must remember, and never forget, that the ultimate aim and the denial objective of the United States Government towards Black people is that we must never become effectively organized. This is why our woes, in becoming public, are usually detrimental and generally bring about the demise of our organizations.

It is never right to seek to do harm to your Brother or Sister simply because you disagree with what they say or do. Anyone who thinks to do harm to their Brother or Sister, with whom they have a real or imagined disagreement, is a denier of the process of human redemption. There is no Black man or woman, no matter how evil or wicked they are or appear to be, who cannot be redeemed.

If we do not like what our Brother is saying or doing, then Allah (God) has given to us, in the Holy Qur’an, the best arguments and He teaches us to argue with our opponents in the best manner and to call to the way of Allah (God) with justice.

The Holy Qur’an forgives hurtful speech when it is uttered by one who feels or believes he or she has been wronged. However, we are not considered good Believers until we make Allah (God) and His Messenger the Arbitrators of our disputes. This will keep us from the ugly path of shedding each other’s precious blood.

The problem with most people who disagree is that they do not face each other squarely with truth, but speak around that person to others, thus affecting them with their disposition and attitude. This hinders others from the path of Islam and from the path of unity. There is a price for us to pay if we hinder people who would submit to Allah (God) from His Way by our misrepresentation of the Truth and by spreading our dissatisfaction over our personal hurt and pain.

No one can attempt to help our people do anything productive and constructive without feeling personal hurt, pain, loss, being evil spoken of, falsely accused, sometimes beaten, sent to prison, or even put to death. This is the path of Jesus. This is the path of Muhammad and this is the path of every sincere person who wants to see his or her people delivered from our present condition.

Among us, there are those who spread rumors, who deliberately lie, add to or take away from the Truth, thereby sowing the seeds of dissension. We must refer rumors to those in authority, who are in a position to search out the truth or falsity of the rumor.

Then, we must act on the principles of truth. This is why, in the Nation of Islam, the first lesson we are given to study is called Actual Facts, because we can never arrive at a true basis for justice without first having in our possession or grasp the actual facts.

We must look carefully into what people tell us or say to us or write concerning us. The first person we should study is not the person who is being spoken against, but the person who is bringing us the ugly news about someone else who is not present to defend themselves.

The Holy Qur’an teaches us that, when an unrighteous person brings us news, we should look carefully into it, lest we harm a person in ignorance and then be sorry for what we do.

Personal attacks on our opponents are forbidden in our representation of truth. The Honorable Elijah Muhammad warned Malcolm X, when he personally attacked the moral character of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., that he should never do this again. The Honorable Elijah Muhammad told Malcolm that we have every right to attack the program, philosophy and ideas of an individual, but personal attacks for those of us in the public life is not proper and will prove to be counterproductive.

Whenever we speak of the ills of our Brothers and Sisters, we should not speak in a manner that only reproves or rebukes, but we should encourage that person to better conduct, then we will not be in denial of the process of redemption that Master Fard Muhammad, the Great Mahdi, started on His Coming to North America. We have a lot to learn to keep ourselves from the fishermen’s net (Satan’s evil plans against us).

So, my dear Brothers and Sisters who believe in Islam and are following the Honorable Elijah Muhammad, under my Leadership, keep your eyes focused on the goal and do not let anything or anyone take you and your focus from the establishment of the program of the Honorable Elijah Muhammad.

Remember, and be comforted by, the Biblical scripture which says, “No weapon formed against the righteous will prosper.” No hypocrite or devil will be allowed to get the upper hand over a True Believer.  Allah (God) alone is the Judge.

Therefore, be careful in our attempts to judge one another, lest we be in danger of being judged. Follow the laws of Islam. Carry them into practice. Your Brother in the Faith is he who respects the laws of Allah (God) and seeks to carry them into practice. Keep the brotherhood strong. Stop wanton criticism and attacks on everything that is Black owned and operated.

Stop displaying public hatred or dislike for one another. Do not give our open enemies the ammunition that they seek to use in furthering division and confusion, causing Brothers to fight and kill one another. Respect yourself and do good to yourself. Never be the aggressor. We are only permitted to fight with those who fight with us. If we do these things, we will overcome all opposition and we will be with Allah’s Apostle in Victory.

Female Leadership

 At the Jerusalem Post’s 2025 Women Leaders Conference, a panel featuring Osnat Elroy, Rahel Atedgi, and Merav Brandfeld. Moderated by The Jerusalem Report editor-in-chief Tamar Uriel-Beeri, the discussion explored female leadership, representation, and social responsibility in male-dominated industries.

Osnat Elroy, a senior executive at Mifal Hapais, recounted her experience working on a board predominantly made up of men. She emphasized the challenges of ensuring female voices are heard in decision-making processes. “When men hear a female voice, sometimes they simply don’t register it,” she remarked. “I had to be clear, assertive, even aggressive at times, just to ensure my voice wasn’t drowned out.” 

Osnat Elroy, a senior executive at Mifal Hapais (Credit: Micky)

Rahel Atedgi, a trailblazer in the Haredi community, described her unconventional path into leadership. “I started at 21, young and curious, determined to break barriers,” she said. Upon joining Mifal Hapais’ board, she initially doubted herself. “I asked, ‘Is this too big for me?’ But then I reminded myself—I’m no pushover.” 

Atedgi, a mother of five and national daycare program director, emphasized that her work transcends sectors and social divides. “At the end of the day, my job is to serve people, no matter who they are.”

Rahel Atedgi, a trailblazer in the Haredi community (Credit: Micky)

Merav Brandfeld, head of regulation and chief of staff to the CEO at Mifal Hapais, addressed the organization's surprising role in responsible gaming. “People don’t expect a lottery organization to have an entire department dedicated to addiction prevention,” she said. “But we believe in responsibility. We’re not here to promote gambling; we’re here to ensure it’s done safely.” She noted the initial skepticism she faced in the industry but emphasized, “What once raised eyebrows is now recognized and valued.”

Merav Brandfeld, head of regulation and chief of staff to the CEO at Mifal Hapais (Credit: Micky)

Despite challenges, the discussion stressed women's leadership progress and the ongoing need for gender equality advocacy in the public sector.  “Success in public leadership begins with faith in yourself and a clear vision of where you want to go," Atedgi concluded. "This isn’t about a career—it’s about mission and service.”